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Life after the kids move out....


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Oh I have a long way to go as mine are 11 and 9 but it occurred to me that in 7 years one will (hopefully) be at uni then the other 

Even before that the eldest is not going to be a 'child' for too much longer 

Then I realized that over half the 'job' is done on term of having non adult children 

There are a lot very old people on here who have probably been through this......so what is it like going back to not having little kids ? 

Trying to appreciate every moment etc but it feels like a slog of gets kids ready for school, work, kids clubs after school, clean the kids and clean the house, sleep ....repeat for what seems like forever 

Only now realizing it won't be like this forever and not really many years left 

Anyway...just thinking out loud and wondered if anyone has any thoughts 

Edited by Bedfordshire Bronco
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then you will have your house and your life back - although you still wont be able to do owt as the demand for financial support (uni fees - driving lessons- cars- house deposits etc etc ) will out weigh the benefits of the latter- get ready for it

see you later undertaker - in a while necrophile 

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4 hours ago, Bedfordshire Bronco said:

Oh I have a long way to go as mine are 11 and 9 but it occurred to me that in 7 years one will (hopefully) be at uni then the other 

Even before that the eldest is not going to be a 'child' for too much longer 

Then I realized that over half the 'job' is done on term of having non adult children 

There are a lot very old people on here who have probably been through this......so what is it like going back to not having little kids ? 

Trying to appreciate every moment etc but it feels like a slog of gets kids ready for school, work, kids clubs after school, clean the kids and clean the house, sleep ....repeat for what seems like forever 

Only now realizing it won't be like this forever and not really many years left 

Anyway...just thinking out loud and wondered if anyone has any thoughts 

Expect plenty of visits from them after they've flown the nest... until they can afford their own washing machine. :kolobok_wink:

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Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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4 minutes ago, Futtocks said:

Expect plenty of visits from them after they've flown the nest... until they can afford their own washing machine. :kolobok_wink:

or visits to them when they need to hang a picture or change a light bulb or fix a leaky tap

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see you later undertaker - in a while necrophile 

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1 hour ago, Futtocks said:

Expect plenty of visits from them after they've flown the nest... until they can afford their own washing machine. :kolobok_wink:

The most common living arrangement for under 30s in this country is 'living with my parents'.

They can't afford rent let alone a washing machine.

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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)

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You’ve only got around 3 years left (could be more, could be less) where you can easily just pop out to the park with the kids to play and hang out together as a family. Make the most of it. While it doesn’t disappear completely when they turn 13/14, they increasingly turn to their friends and they start having other plans or just don’t want to hang out as much.

Don’t forget you have to transition your own life when the kids start becoming more independent. That includes dating your partner again and building for a post small children life together. 

 

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On 09/02/2024 at 12:57, Bedfordshire Bronco said:

Oh I have a long way to go as mine are 11 and 9 but it occurred to me that in 7 years one will (hopefully) be at uni then the other 

Even before that the eldest is not going to be a 'child' for too much longer 

Then I realized that over half the 'job' is done on term of having non adult children 

There are a lot very old people on here who have probably been through this......so what is it like going back to not having little kids ? 

Trying to appreciate every moment etc but it feels like a slog of gets kids ready for school, work, kids clubs after school, clean the kids and clean the house, sleep ....repeat for what seems like forever 

Only now realizing it won't be like this forever and not really many years left 

Anyway...just thinking out loud and wondered if anyone has any thoughts 

Funny enough I had this thought the other day too.

Mine are 7 and 10, and I realised the days of taking them the park etc are nearly gone. Don't get me wrong, there have been times it's felt like a right chore but I'll miss it when it's gone. 

I already had a mini-adjustment a couple of years ago. I'd spent so long looking after the kids, that I didn't know what to do with myself anymore when I had some free time. When they were able to go off and entertain themselves, I'd feel a bit listless and couldn't motivate myself to do anything.

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3 hours ago, Maximus Decimus said:

Funny enough I had this thought the other day too.

Mine are 7 and 10, and I realised the days of taking them the park etc are nearly gone. Don't get me wrong, there have been times it's felt like a right chore but I'll miss it when it's gone. 

I already had a mini-adjustment a couple of years ago. I'd spent so long looking after the kids, that I didn't know what to do with myself anymore when I had some free time. When they were able to go off and entertain themselves, I'd feel a bit listless and couldn't motivate myself to do anything.

I'm planning on adjusting to what they like I think  and really making an effort to spend time with them. 

They really do appreciate time spent more than anything be it playing games/cards etc or just talking about what they like or watching some God awful kids Netflix show with them 

I'd say the old truism that you get out what you put in with your kids is very very true 

Luckily they have been brainwashed into liking watching live sport with us so we hopefully will always have that (in addition they both play football and netball competitively  ) ....we are working out how to avoid the classic case of girls reaching teenage-hood and giving up sport ).....

Edited by Bedfordshire Bronco
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