Dear Diary

[ckn]

9 minutes ago, Bleep1673 said:

As an arachnophobe, I don't appreciate the picture.

Try having one pop out from behind the shampoo when you’re having a shower. One of those big beasties did that to me, that was fun for both of us. 

[Bleep1673]

1 minute ago, ckn said:

Try having one pop out from behind the shampoo when you’re having a shower. One of those big beasties did that to me, that was fun for both of us. 

Try working for a "Man-with-a-van", and doing garage clearances, and trying not to squeal like a seven year old every time you pick a rug/box/old chair up and something unseen crawls on your hand.

[ckn]

Just now, Bleep1673 said:

Try working for a "Man-with-a-van", and doing garage clearances, and trying not to squeal like a seven year old every time you pick a rug/box/old chair up and something unseen crawls on your hand.

I think the only reason I didn't scream like a six-year old girl finding her barbie doll's head separated from its body was that I didn't have my glasses on so my brain had to think for a while wondering what it was and had some time to adjust.

[Bleep1673]

I did a garage clearance in April, and it was just after a weekend worth of rain, I was getting goosebumps when the Garage door opened. First box I lifted had a whole family of mutant spiders under it, I dropped the box and destroyed a full set of china that was being donated to the BHF. The owner took sympathy on me and gave me a double strength filter coffee, which I drank. I hate coffee, but I needed it, and that was 0830.

[JohnM]

3 hours ago, Bleep1673 said:

I had a major problem with fruit flies invading my tiny kitchen during the summer, £4.10 spent on fly paper seems to have done the trick.

Fly papers and fly swats  rule! Both really work.

[tonyXIII]

1 hour ago, JohnM said:

Fly papers and fly swats  rule! Both really work.

There is something intensely satisfying about using a fly swat to kill the buggers. Unfortunately, you need the fly to settle somewhere first. The ones here just keep flying and I end up playing a crazy form of tennis, trying to hit them 'on the fly'. After ten minutes, I give up and wage chemical warfare on them.

Then I hit them with the fly swat!

 

[Bearman]

5 hours ago, ckn said:

I've just purchased this fine piece of equipment to kill the flies that keep coming in from the fields. The problem with living in the countryside is that any open window and a bit of wind is an invitation for flies to come in. I'm fed up of it.  15 years in this house and I've had enough of the flies.

The main reason people seem to give it 4* instead of 5* is that it makes quite a sound when it fries a fly. I will gladly celebrate every time I hear it go off.

I had to evict a spider from the house last week that wasn't pulling its weight in stopping the flying beasties. If they want to live here rent free then they pay in labour or get booted out. The pic below was it in a pint glass, the Suffolk spiders can get a bit big, it's probably us living with two nuclear power plants 30 miles each way of us.

I have a fail safe way of killing flies.

I have some kit that never fails. I usually charge £5 but in spirit of bonhomie for my fellow RL fans I will share it with you all free gratis.

Take two table tennis bats. Place the fly on one bat and hit it with the other.

Job's a gud un. No need to send me the fiver just buy me a pint if you see me.

[Mister Ting]

Summer always brings on entomophobia. Moths, Crane Flies and houseflies are like hell.

[JohnM]

We also have microscopic black flies, maybe only 1 to 2 mm in length, in the peak summertime. They get everywhere. We have a  print, professionally framed, sealed with tape etc, and there the buggers are, between the print and the glass.  You never see them flying around but there they are, every year getting behind clock faces, etc.  

[Kayakman]

1 minute ago, JohnM said:

We also have microscopic black flies, maybe only 1 to 2 mm in length, in the peak summertime. They get everywhere. We have a  print, professionally framed, sealed with tape etc, and there the buggers are, between the print and the glass.  You never see them flying around but there they are, every year getting behind clock faces, etc.  

Quit talking about Rugby Union people like that!

[Bearman]

14 hours ago, Bearman said:

I have a fail safe way of killing flies.

I have some kit that never fails. I usually charge £5 but in spirit of bonhomie for my fellow RL fans I will share it with you all free gratis.

Take two table tennis bats. Place the fly on one bat and hit it with the other.

Job's a gud un. No need to send me the fiver just buy me a pint if you see me.

Since posting this Amazon have started bombarding me with ad's for ckn's fly exterminator.

[ckn]

22 hours ago, ckn said:

I've just purchased this fine piece of equipment to kill the flies that keep coming in from the fields. The problem with living in the countryside is that any open window and a bit of wind is an invitation for flies to come in. I'm fed up of it.  15 years in this house and I've had enough of the flies.

The main reason people seem to give it 4* instead of 5* is that it makes quite a sound when it fries a fly. I will gladly celebrate every time I hear it go off.

I had to evict a spider from the house last week that wasn't pulling its weight in stopping the flying beasties. If they want to live here rent free then they pay in labour or get booted out. The pic below was it in a pint glass, the Suffolk spiders can get a bit big, it's probably us living with two nuclear power plants 30 miles each way of us.

 

It arrived this morning. It's in the kitchen running and I can hear it zapping things from upstairs in my office. It's mainly the small mosquito sized beasties that are everywhere this time of year but a couple of flies have bitten the dust already.

I don't think I'll ever get tired of smiling when I hear that zap.

Now I have to find somewhere to put it permanently as I'd just left it running on the worktop for now.

[ckn]

2 hours ago, Bearman said:

Since posting this Amazon have started bombarding me with ad's for ckn's fly exterminator.

Welcome to my life... as much of my life is NHS and healthcare stuff I get advert after advert for medical and clinical products. I read one article about healthcare recruitment last week and I had an entire day of adverts trying to get me to sign up to healthcare jobsites and get me to hire recruiters to solve all my recruitment problems.

[Kayakman]

8 minutes ago, ckn said:

It arrived this morning. It's in the kitchen running and I can hear it zapping things from upstairs in my office. It's mainly the small mosquito sized beasties that are everywhere this time of year but a couple of flies have bitten the dust already.

I don't think I'll ever get tired of smiling when I hear that zap.

Now I have to find somewhere to put it permanently as I'd just left it running on the worktop for now.

Whatever you do don't stick your finger in there just to see what happens.

[ckn]

2 minutes ago, Kayakman said:

Whatever you do don't stick your finger in there just to see what happens.

My Canadian friend has one of those badminton racket raquet racquet bat* versions that's nothing but a charged capacitor that discharges when it hits a beastie. A friend of ours was stupid enough to touch it with his tongue and spent an hour unable to feel anything in it.  Silly person.

* I'll be damned if I know the spelling today for some reason...

[Kayakman]

21 minutes ago, ckn said:

My Canadian friend has one of those badminton racket raquet racquet bat* versions that's nothing but a charged capacitor that discharges when it hits a beastie. A friend of ours was stupid enough to touch it with his tongue and spent an hour unable to feel anything in it.  Silly person.

* I'll be damned if I know the spelling today for some reason...

Its racquet.

[ckn]

5 minutes ago, Kayakman said:

Its racquet.

A Google search says it's racket here in glorious Englerland. It just does not look right though.

[Kayakman]

1 hour ago, ckn said:

A Google search says it's racket here in glorious Englerland. It just does not look right though.

There are generally three types of accepted spelling in the English language;  General English, Canadian English and American English.   Some words are different but also verbs (e.g. practice).  All spellings are academically considered appropriate and acceptable for use.

Some folks really get their socks or knickers in twist over it....using the different versions is not a big deal.

[Bearman]

My wife and I are currently having a coffee at Malt Kiln farm shop just outside Coventry.

We are also background extras to a Channel 5 production. No idea when or what will be broadcast.

[getdownmonkeyman]

On 02/09/2019 at 19:02, tonyXIII said:

There is something intensely satisfying about using a fly swat to kill the buggers. Unfortunately, you need the fly to settle somewhere first. The ones here just keep flying and I end up playing a crazy form of tennis, trying to hit them 'on the fly'. After ten minutes, I give up and wage chemical warfare on them.

Then I hit them with the fly swat!

 

I find using a tea towel as a whip quite effective, whilst they are mid-flight.

[Bearman]

On 02/09/2019 at 13:36, ckn said:

I've just purchased this fine piece of equipment to kill the flies that keep coming in from the fields. The problem with living in the countryside is that any open window and a bit of wind is an invitation for flies to come in. I'm fed up of it.  15 years in this house and I've had enough of the flies.

The main reason people seem to give it 4* instead of 5* is that it makes quite a sound when it fries a fly. I will gladly celebrate every time I hear it go off.

I had to evict a spider from the house last week that wasn't pulling its weight in stopping the flying beasties. If they want to live here rent free then they pay in labour or get booted out. The pic below was it in a pint glass, the Suffolk spiders can get a bit big, it's probably us living with two nuclear power plants 30 miles each way of us.

An hour ago I would have laughed at you lot. Then I caught a beastie like the one above.

fir the first time In my life have I have had a   Bite. Just below my little finger, two puncture marks !

[tonyXIII]

1 hour ago, getdownmonkeyman said:

I find using a tea towel as a whip quite effective, whilst they are mid-flight.

I'll have to try that.

[tonyXIII]

9 minutes ago, Bearman said:

An hour ago I would have laughed at you lot. Then I caught a beastie like the one above.

fir the first time In my life have I have had a   Bite. Just below my little finger, two puncture marks !

Do you live in Australia?

If so, get to a hospital fast!

If not, you'll probably live.

[Kayakman]

19 minutes ago, Bearman said:

An hour ago I would have laughed at you lot. Then I caught a beastie like the one above.

fir the first time In my life have I have had a   Bite. Just below my little finger, two puncture marks !

It all depends if it injected venom or not.   I've had alot of spider bites in the Bush and if you scratch them (they are very itchy) you can rip the skin and causes a large deep scab.

Spider bites, and the resulting sores, take a long time to heal.  Put rubbing alcohol on as soon as possible.   You'll be okay...remember Bearman I used to actually live in Lane Cove, where the infamous killer spiders roam!

[Shadow]

8 hours ago, Bearman said:

An hour ago I would have laughed at you lot. Then I caught a beastie like the one above.

fir the first time In my life have I have had a   Bite. Just below my little finger, two puncture marks !

If the Spider was radioactive you can look forward to a life of crime fighting in a colourful Lycra suit