JohnM Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 Omg omg omg!!! I'M SO EXCITED! My son wanted to give me a special Christmas present. So with 1 dart and a world map he said to throw it and where it lands we will go there after the Christmas holidays.” Sooooo, yeah it looks like we’ll be spending 2 weeks behind my fridge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted December 19, 2023 Author Share Posted December 19, 2023 5 hours ago, graveyard johnny said: this Christmas day as the family sit down to enjoy dinner together we known grandma will be looking down on us from above ...........................................................still waiting for the stairlift repair man Gary Delaney's take: we couldn't decide whether to have granny buried or cremated... so in the end, we let her live. Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. Ralph Waldo Emerson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazza77 Posted December 27, 2023 Share Posted December 27, 2023 2 Please view my photos. http://www.hughesphoto.co.uk/ Little Nook Farm - Caravan Club Certificated Location in the heart of the Pennines overlooking Hebden Bridge and the Calder Valley. http://www.facebook.com/LittleNookFarm Little Nook Cottage - 2-bed self-catering cottage in the heart of the Pennines overlooking Hebden Bridge and the Calder Valley. Book now via airbnb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirlin Posted December 30, 2023 Share Posted December 30, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoyBoy295 Posted December 30, 2023 Share Posted December 30, 2023 On 19/12/2023 at 17:04, JohnM said: Omg omg omg!!! I'M SO EXCITED! My son wanted to give me a special Christmas present. So with 1 dart and a world map he said to throw it and where it lands we will go there after the Christmas holidays.” Sooooo, yeah it looks like we’ll be spending 2 weeks behind my fridge! Better than the skirting board Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnM Posted December 30, 2023 Share Posted December 30, 2023 38 minutes ago, RoyBoy295 said: Better than the skirting board That was last year. Never again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirlin Posted January 1 Share Posted January 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hallucinating Goose Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 I love history and a friend of mine who is an archaeologist invited me to attend a dig going on in the local area. During the dig I found the leg bone of a Roman soldier. The whole experience was a real shindig! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirlin Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Home sweet home 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnM Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 (edited) VAR has just confirmed it is 2024.........It's ok to celebrate NewYear now. I asked my pharmacist if he sold Benylin. He said, "For cough?" I said, "Hey, that’s not nice, I only asked." If your time is dragging on this day and you’re feeling bored just google : South Yorkshire Police Operations Complex address Edited January 2 by JohnM 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted January 3 Author Share Posted January 3 1 Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. Ralph Waldo Emerson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirlin Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hallucinating Goose Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 The number 8 went to see a therapist. When asked to lie down on the sofa the number 8 replied, "i can't or I'll be here forever". 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StandOffHalf Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 (edited) Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 999. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?" "Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?" Edited January 6 by StandOffHalf 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiltshire Warrior Dragon Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 On 06/01/2024 at 06:07, The Hallucinating Goose said: The number 8 went to see a therapist. When asked to lie down on the sofa the number 8 replied, "i can't or I'll be here forever". When Milton Jones tries to count to ten in French, he can never get beyond number 8; he has a huit allergy! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnM Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Les Tonks Sidestep Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirlin Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirlin Posted January 14 Share Posted January 14 The vacuum cleaner is running at twice its normal speed babe , dunno why... - Funny you should say that hun , my hair dryer was running much faster with more heat too , dried my hair in half the time - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Frightful Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 3 2 Hull FC....The Sons of God... (Well, we are about to be crucified on Good Friday) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted January 19 Author Share Posted January 19 Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. Ralph Waldo Emerson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirlin Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirlin Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 Haggis hunting - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Futtocks Posted January 19 Author Share Posted January 19 1 hour ago, Stirlin said: 1 Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted. Ralph Waldo Emerson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HawkMan Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 (edited) In court the Judge is addressing the defendant found guilty of murder. Judge, "you have been found guilty of murdering your wife with a hammer." A man shouts out, " bas***d" Judge, " you have also been found guilty of murdering your daughter with a hammer." The man shouts again, " bloody evil sh*t." Judge to Man " I know this is a difficult case but please control yourself, what's your problem?" Man " I've been his neighbour for 20 years and whenever I asked to borrow his hammer he said he never had one !" Edited January 21 by HawkMan 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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