Money's Not Everything

[The Masked Poster]

Ok so here goes. 

I'm about to give up (not redundant, my choice) my well paid job and get one for much less money. The people I've told have said I'm crazy but here's my logic......

I am not rich, or even able to retire but what I have done is paid off my (quite substantial) mortgage and my kids are grown up and mostly left home. My job involves a fair bit of travel (only West Yorkshire now but still) and working anti social hours...like now for example!

So far this year 2 of my oldest friends have died and it's really made me think about what is important - and I've decided it's TIME. Sure, when I had a young family I had to work whatever paid most but now? I'd rather spend time in the garden with my Mrs. And when one of us is gone, we can cherish that memory. Money is great but I would trade it all for one hour with my wife if she was no longer here. 

Apologies for the ramblings of a crazy guy but I have been really weighing this up and have chosen what I'm going to do. Any thoughts? Interested to hear views. 

[hindle xiii]

I am making a similar choice too.

[The Hallucinating Goose]

Don't worry, that's not ramblings, it sounds very similar to what me and Mrs. Goose did a few years ago. I'll leave you a more detailed reply later but I've gotta go to my less well paid job now!

[Damien]

I totally agree with your thoughts and sentiments @The Masked Poster.

Work/life balance is so important and money is certainly not the be all and end all. If you can afford it then I would certainly push that balance towards life as much as possible. As you say time is short and precious. I have though worked with people who talked of nothing about building up a good pension, added years to what would have been a good final salary pension and worked longer to build it up even more to then drop dead 6 months after retirement. Enjoy it while you can and cherish every moment.

I am not going to say that money does not matter, it obviously does and it can make all the other things much easier, so there is a balance. I do also appreciate that everyone circumstances are different and some have no choice but to work every hour God sends, sometimes because of circumstances beyond their control.

There are about to be significant changes in my workplace that may affect things tremendously and I can shortly see myself making similar decisions. I have been fortunate to work fully remotely for the last 5 years and if we get took over that may change to a hybrid model. I simply cannot face commuting for nearly 4 hours a day again 2/3 days a week and would gladly take a £10k pay cut not to do so. Probably more.

[Dunbar]

I have added a couple of quite long posts over the last few years in response to similar questions and conversations and so I won't repeat them here.

But I will summarise by saying about 5 years ago I made the choice to put family and happiness in front of the pursuit of money and I haven't regretted it for a second.

As with all things in life, balance in the key.  Money is the root of so much worry for a lot of people and if you are fortunate enough to be in a position to make a decision on money vs. other factors (and ironically that decision is when you have the money to make that decision) then that is a very good position to be in. 

And, as I say, a fortunate one as many many people are not.

[bobbruce]

49 minutes ago, Dunbar said:

I have added a couple of quite long posts over the last few years in response to similar questions and conversations and so I won't repeat them here.

But I will summarise by saying about 5 years ago I made the choice to put family and happiness in front of the pursuit of money and I haven't regretted it for a second.

As with all things in life, balance in the key.  Money is the root of so much worry for a lot of people and if you are fortunate enough to be in a position to make a decision on money vs. other factors (and ironically that decision is when you have the money to make that decision) then that is a very good position to be in. 

And, as I say, a fortunate one as many many people are not.

Aren’t we all working to get to that point I think the key is knowing when you’ve reached it. 

[Dunbar]

Saw this article today and I thought it was a reasonable fit to this discussion.

Brits most likely to say 'we don't live to work'

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-66727873

[Kayakman]

30 minutes ago, bobbruce said:

Aren’t we all working to get to that point I think the key is knowing when you’ve reached it. 

Good point since it is true for many people...for many (dare i say the majority), the pursuit and accumulation of money becomes a power unto itself and dominates their later years.

This problem has been going on since the beginning and the wise Roman Cicero was aghast that so many were accumulating wealth in their last years; spend it!

[Dunbar]

32 minutes ago, bobbruce said:

Aren’t we all working to get to that point I think the key is knowing when you’ve reached it. 

Agreed.

I think we have all seen some people who only care about accumulating more and see success as the only thing that matters and money as the scoreboard.  But I think they are relatively rare.

The biggest lesson I have learnt (and one which I still struggle with today if I am being honest) is to not compare yourself to others.  There will always be people with 'more' and if you compare yourself against them then you will not find the contentment that you would if you looked at your own situation in isolation and say to yourself "is this enough?"

 

[The Masked Poster]

Thanks for the replies all, nice to hear some thoughts. 
 

@Damien You’re quite correct in that I aren’t suggesting that money doesn’t matter, it’s very important and it’s generally only people that have plenty who say it’s not important. I don’t have plenty but I realised I might be heading towards the situation @Dunbar alluded to, ie chasing more money for the sake of it because it was there. I looked around and thought “Do I really need to be putting myself through this?” (Setting off to work on a Saturday night on a lovely summers day for instance) and the answer I reached was “not really”….so why? 
I will possibly regret it when the payday isn’t quite as bountiful but I will learn to live with that. 
 

And on top of all this, my body isn’t quite what it was and I’m spending half my time off simply getting back to something like normal. 

[MattSantos]

A very pertinent question in my house at the moment.

I've turned down 3 jobs in 12 months as the role i have now is flexible. I work from home 100% of the time and i can pretty much come and go as i please. If the weather is nice, i go and play golf. If i fancy picking up the lad and going for a swim, we do so. Time > Money.

The testing point will come after another bleak winter. We're debating whether my wife should quit so that we can travel for 6 months before the lad goes to school. It's easy to say money isn't everything, but to throw away a well earned salary each month is a very difficult decision. Time will tell on this..

 

 

[gingerjon]

I'm going to assume that a discussion on an internet messageboard for a niche sport *held during the working day* may lean more towards the "money isn't everything" crowd by default.

[The Masked Poster]

31 minutes ago, gingerjon said:

I'm going to assume that a discussion on an internet messageboard for a niche sport *held during the working day* may lean more towards the "money isn't everything" crowd by default.

Ha ha fair point. But in my defence I wrote it in the middle of the night - at work! 

[Dunbar]

2 hours ago, gingerjon said:

I'm going to assume that a discussion on an internet messageboard for a niche sport *held during the working day* may lean more towards the "money isn't everything" crowd by default.

Superb.

[Gerrumonside ref]

I think balance is key like in most aspects of life.

Unfortunately I have a medical condition that will only get worse in the future so I’m very much in the, “Do things when young rather than waiting for retirement” camp by default.

As Homer Simpson says, “I have to work for money” , but it gives me routine, a standard of living that covers essentials plus some treats and importantly for me a sense of independence.

Choosing and being able to work, I have gravitated towards the work/life balance that suits me best factoring in reward, stress, mental challenge, colleague relationships, social relationships etc etc.   I’m lucky, but I’ve also worked hard and made some luck along the way to open up doors.

I wish the OP and others facing a similar quandary well as they wrestle with the ‘time versus money’ debate.  I must admit personally that my own sense of happiness these days is more caught up in quality of relationships and compassion for others rather than the traditional measuring stick of personal wealth and attained status symbols etc.

 

[The Hallucinating Goose]

11 hours ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

Don't worry, that's not ramblings, it sounds very similar to what me and Mrs. Goose did a few years ago. I'll leave you a more detailed reply later but I've gotta go to my less well paid job now!

So to give more detail, just before covid myself and Mrs. Goose were both working at the same place but Mrs. Goose's knees were really giving up on her to the point where she was going to need to give up work and use a wheelchair. When a change of management came in, we both decided to leave our jobs because we did not agree with the way the new managers went about things (we weren't the only ones, 7 people left without notice in a week). 

Mrs. Goose gave up work at this point and I decided to take a couple of months off. Unfortunately covid then hit and I found myself out of work for a year and essentially living off our savings. After a year, I got myself a job that paid only about 2/3rds of what I was earning pre-covid but this did not matter to me because I can now spend almost all my time with Mrs. Goose, caring for her, taking her for days out in her wheelchair and enjoying our shared interests and hobbies.

I've never been closer to Mrs. Goose than these last few years and while money is tight sometimes we both know that if it starts getting really tough, I can easily just go find another small, part time job and then everything will be fine. Money really isn't something to centre your life around. As long as I'm earning enough to support my family then everything is fine. 

[Vambo]

Went part time in 2020. Wife retired.

Mortgage paid. We spent 30 plus years in the machine. Now we're out of it.

Spend as little and live as frugally as we can.

Living our best life.

Loving life for the first time in decades.

I'm 56 and my (much better half) is 59.

[JohnM]

Make the decisions which are right for you.....just as long as you all keep paying income tax and National Insurance.

[Dunbar]

58 minutes ago, Gerrumonside ref said:

I must admit personally that my own sense of happiness these days is more caught up in quality of relationships and compassion for others rather than the traditional measuring stick of personal wealth and attained status symbols etc.

Isn't happiness, quality of relationships and compassion the traditional measuring stick of personal wealth?  It is only egomaniacs and sociopaths that go for the other measures isn't it?

[Wolford6]

I'm self-employed and  could retire if I wanted to, but enjoy work. What I don't enjoy is thinking about money and dealing with it. It's a hang-up from the days when I was in an unhappy marriage and had bills and a mortgage we struggled to pay. Dealing with money brings memories and fears about  being poor again.

At Christmas, I slipped on ice, smashed the back of my head and broke my collarbone. I couldn't sleep properly or type and didn't send out any invoices before March.

I've carried on working from the beginning of February and I've still loads of invoices to send out and I am struggling to sit down and do them. It's a mental block and I've now got a friend coming in to help me do them when she has the time. We've made a start.

When I've got everything sorted , I'll decide whether to carry on but I've got so many longstanding clients that I don't want to let down. I'm 69 and not kidding myself that I'm as good as I was but, when I tell my clients this, they all want me to carry on.

One thing that not everyone knows is that, for holders of "traditional" private pensions, your Pension Fund keeps any money left in your account if you die over the age of 75.  To secure your money for your family you need to transfer to a "Draw Down" Account. I've been "Going to do it this year" for at least 5 years .. I just hate dealing with money.

Packing up work is never a straightforward Yes/No decision. It's probably easier if you've got a life-partner, but I don't.

Tell the truth, if I had a life-partner, I'd want to be out of the house just in case she put a soap opera on the telly.

[The Masked Poster]

13 hours ago, Wolford6 said:

I'm self-employed and  could retire if I wanted to, but enjoy work. What I don't enjoy is thinking about money and dealing with it. It's a hang-up from the days when I was in an unhappy marriage and had bills and a mortgage we struggled to pay. Dealing with money brings memories and fears about  being poor again.

At Christmas, I slipped on ice, smashed the back of my head and broke my collarbone. I couldn't sleep properly or type and didn't send out any invoices before March.

I've carried on working from the beginning of February and I've still loads of invoices to send out and I am struggling to sit down and do them. It's a mental block and I've now got a friend coming in to help me do them when she has the time. We've made a start.

When I've got everything sorted , I'll decide whether to carry on but I've got so many longstanding clients that I don't want to let down. I'm 69 and not kidding myself that I'm as good as I was but, when I tell my clients this, they all want me to carry on.

One thing that not everyone knows is that, for holders of "traditional" private pensions, your Pension Fund keeps any money left in your account if you die over the age of 75.  To secure your money for your family you need to transfer to a "Draw Down" Account. I've been "Going to do it this year" for at least 5 years .. I just hate dealing with money.

Packing up work is never a straightforward Yes/No decision. It's probably easier if you've got a life-partner, but I don't.

Tell the truth, if I had a life-partner, I'd want to be out of the house just in case she put a soap opera on the telly.

This is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. One of my old friends fell over while drunk, injured himself internally and subsequently died from sepsis (didn't go to docs until too late).

I'm sure it's great to have a million pounds in the bank, but if you're dead it's no use whatsoever. 

[The Masked Poster]

15 hours ago, JohnM said:

Make the decisions which are right for you.....just as long as you all keep paying income tax and National Insurance.

From what I've been told (from a pretty reasonable source) due to the amount of NI and so forth I've paid over the years, I'm guaranteed the state pension - but I'd have to double check that. 

Either way I wont be going self employed anyway so it will always be PAYE. 

[Pen-Y-Bont Crusader]

2 hours ago, The Masked Poster said:

From what I've been told (from a pretty reasonable source) due to the amount of NI and so forth I've paid over the years, I'm guaranteed the state pension - but I'd have to double check that. 

 

Easy to get a pretty accurate idea on that via Gov.uk.

 

[tim2]

18 hours ago, Vambo said:

Went part time in 2020. Wife retired.

Mortgage paid. We spent 30 plus years in the machine. Now we're out of it.

Spend as little and live as frugally as we can.

Living our best life.

Loving life for the first time in decades.

I'm 56 and my (much better half) is 59.

When Jeremy Hunt said that over 50s should be in work to help the economy and that we had "20 years of hard graft" left in us, I wondered whether he had ever done any hard graft?

39 years was enough for me.

[Vambo]

1 hour ago, tim2 said:

When Jeremy Hunt said that over 50s should be in work to help the economy and that we had "20 years of hard graft" left in us, I wondered whether he had ever done any hard graft?

39 years was enough for me.

Any "hard graft" that I left will be spent doing the things I want to do. Mr Hunt and his ilk can go themselves.