Another Joke Thread

[The Future is League]

[Old Frightful]

[Old Frightful]

[The Future is League]

[The Future is League]

[Bearman]

Funny people women

My wife said

" If your bored why don't you make a bird table."?

Now she is kicking off because she was only in 5th place.

[JohnM]

We bought a US style postbox for our house. You know the sort..you'll have seen them on US TV progs. Anyway, I lost the key so couldn't get at any of our post. I phoned the very helpful supplier for a replacement key and they've posted one off to me.

[Stirlin]

double

Edited July 11, 2022 by Stirlin

[graveyard johnny]

yesterday a hippie threw one of his joss sticks at me - i was incensed!

[Futtocks]

 

[The Future is League]

[The Future is League]

[The Future is League]

[Futtocks]

 

[DavidM]

51 minutes ago, Futtocks said:

 

That’s either totally unfunny or way to highbrow for me 

[The Hallucinating Goose]

4 hours ago, DavidM said:

That’s either totally unfunny or way to highbrow for me 

I think I get it.

If you're not into mid century Mexican cinema then I don't blame you for not getting it.

I'm thinking on the right lines aren't I Futtocks?

[Stirlin]

Walking past a restaurant and in the window it said, “Order anything you want and if we don't have it we'll pay you £500.”
Went in and ordered Giraffes kneecaps on toast. A short while later the waiter returned with £500 in cash and said, “It's your lucky day, we're out of bread.”

[graveyard johnny]

my wife says she will leave me if I dont stop talking like a newsreader - `"there'll be more on that story later"

[Futtocks]

 

[Stirlin]

The Wife said, “i want an eye level grill on the cooker.”
It took me two days to dig a hole in the kitchen floor for her to stand in 

[graveyard johnny]

i tried to steal some spaghetti from the co op today but the female guard had spotted me - she blocked the exit, and I couldn't get pasta 

[DavidM]

Two guys on lunch break at work and one gets out his flask . His mate says ‘ what’s that then ? ‘ …  ‘ Well its a thermos flask , its brilliant . Just got it , the instructions say it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold ‘ . His mate says ‘ ok , what you got in it ? ‘ …. ‘ two cups of coffee and a choc ice ‘ .

[Futtocks]

 

[The Future is League]

[Mumby Magic]

On 11/07/2022 at 17:44, Stirlin said:

double

Don't get it