Another Joke Thread

[JohnM]

[Old Frightful]

[Old Frightful]

[Old Frightful]

[JohnM]

Some years ago, I’d arranged a meeting with my UK boss at his office in Portsmouth. Unfortunately, I was late and by the time I got there, the office was closed. I decide to call at his house in Winchester and hold the meeting there. Unfortunately, the taxi driver got us lost and it was quite late when we got there. What I thought was his house, but not sure, was in darkness. I knocked on the front door and eventually, a window opened and a woman popped her head out. I shouted up to her, “Does (name withheld) live here?”

.

.

.

.

.

“Yes,” she said, “Just leave him on the doorstep to sober up as usual."

[Exiled Townie]

[graveyard johnny]

2 minutes ago, Exiled Townie said:

wheres the queue?

[tonyXIII]

1 hour ago, graveyard johnny said:

wheres the queue?

It's behind you!

 

(panto season?)

[Old Frightful]

[Old Frightful]

[Bedfordshire Bronco]

Viz letter 

 

[Exiled Townie]

[JohnM]

Just heard on the radio that thieves broke into the office world store last night and stole a load of files, folders, poly pockets and dividers

 

Police believe it's the work of organised criminals

[Midlands hobo]

What did the hillbilly have for Christmas lunch. Mullet.

[Mumby Magic]

Played frisbee with my dog today.

It wasn't a success. I need a flatter dog.

[Wiltshire Warrior Dragon]

On 08/01/2023 at 18:27, JohnM said:

Just heard on the radio that thieves broke into the office world store last night and stole a load of files, folders, poly pockets and dividers

 

Police believe it's the work of organised criminals

This reminds me of a Milton Jones one-liner:

"Years ago I used to supply Filofaxes for the mafia. I was involved in very organised crime."

[Midlands hobo]

Theives have robbed the Aston villa trophy room, police are asking for return of the carpet.

[Stirlin]

[Futtocks]

 

[Number 16]

If there's one place I can't stand, it's an ice rink.

[Number 16]

The police have just arrested Satan and charged him with possession.

[Number 16]

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini.

The barman asks, "Olive or twist?"

[Number 16]

My Secret Santa gift was a pair of mittens.
I’ve got an idea who bought them for me but I’m not going to point any fingers

[Ryash01]

not heard a lot of great things about switzerland but their flag is a big plus.

[Number 16]

Duffy Duck calls the hotel desk and asks for a condom.

The receptionist asks "Shall we put it on your bill?"

Daffy replies "Don't be thucking thupid, I'll thuffocate..."

Quack Quack!!!