Joy and Sadness

[GeordieSaint]

My wife gave birth to our first child last Sat. Elspeth was 3.5wks early but still weighed in at a healthy 6lbs 13oz. Both my wife and I are overjoyed about being new parents but at the same time are in absolute shock as Elspeth has down syndrome. This was totally unexpected as we were low risk (1 in 2500) so are currently experiencing a massive range of mixed emotions. Elspeth is absolutely beautiful but it is hard to not think about her future such as education, independence and employability.

Both my wife and I loving having her in our life and are really happy being parents. However, if anyone has any experiences with children or adults with downs, I'd be greatly appreciative on your thoughts, ideas and advice.

[Dave T]

I don't have any experience to offer advice mate, but just wanted to say congratulations to you both, and good luck for the journey ahead, i'm sure you'll have a ball.

[WearyRhino]

Congratulations GS and Mrs GS.

[Mark S]

My sister had Down's syndrome, don't worry about a thing, there will not be a day that goes by where you won't laugh at something she says or does.

Congratulations by the way!

[Wolford6]

It's a challenge you didn't want but most challenges have their own rewards. I'm sure Elspeth will be a lovely little girl and a great daughter.

[Saint Toppy]

My mother in-law was a child minder for over 30 years and over that time she looked after several kids with downs. She always said they were the nicest, most sweet natured kids of them all, not an ounce of bratishness about them and were an absolute joy to look after (unlike some of the other selfish, self centred brats she had).

[ckn]

Congratulations! There's far more help these days and understanding with Down's than at any time before. Not saying it'll be easy but the support is there if you're willing to accept it.

[gingerjon]

Congratulations!

 

When Little Ginger was on the way TEN YEARS AGO I was taken to one side by the medical team and given a huge list of what was likely to be wrong with him ranging from death (a one in three chance from memory) to all manner of disabilities both physical and mental.  The things that stuck in my mind and which worried me like mad, even when I had plenty of other things to worry about in the there and then, have not come to pass, or if they have they haven't seemed anything like the mountains I feared.  Other things - he's autistic for example - have and they have proven tough to handle sometimes.  But, through it all, he is our amazing son.

 

Which is a trite way of saying: of course you're going to worry.  Some of those worries will be the same as any other parent but magnified.  Some of those worries will even be entirely justified.  But none of them will be solved by worrying.  And don't ever prioritise the worrying over enjoying the here and now.  That last one is the one I struggled with the longest.

 

You've probably already had a look here - but these folk seem like a good place to start (http://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/for-new-parents/) for practical support. 

[glossop saint]

Congratulations.  Obviously I am only going off your very considered and useful contributions on this site but I have no doubt that you (and Mrs Geordie Saint) will make fantastic parents and handle any difficulties magnificently.  I'm sure Elspeth will be lucky to have you as parents and best of luck for the years ahead.

[Trojan]

My wife gave birth to our first child last Sat. Elspeth was 3.5wks early but still weighed in at a healthy 6lbs 13oz. Both my wife and I are overjoyed about being new parents but at the same time are in absolute shock as Elspeth has down syndrome. This was totally unexpected as we were low risk (1 in 2500) so are currently experiencing a massive range of mixed emotions. Elspeth is absolutely beautiful but it is hard to not think about her future such as education, independence and employability.

Both my wife and I loving having her in our life and are really happy being parents. However, if anyone has any experiences with children or adults with downs, I'd be greatly appreciative on your thoughts, ideas and advice.

Congratulations. I'm sure that you will find her a great joy in your lives whatever her difficulties.  Children are what it's all about. As far as I can see her only real difficulty will be that you support Saints.

[Bob8]

Congratulations, mate!  Enjoy the family.

[Saintslass]

My wife gave birth to our first child last Sat. Elspeth was 3.5wks early but still weighed in at a healthy 6lbs 13oz. Both my wife and I are overjoyed about being new parents but at the same time are in absolute shock as Elspeth has down syndrome. This was totally unexpected as we were low risk (1 in 2500) so are currently experiencing a massive range of mixed emotions. Elspeth is absolutely beautiful but it is hard to not think about her future such as education, independence and employability.

Both my wife and I loving having her in our life and are really happy being parents. However, if anyone has any experiences with children or adults with downs, I'd be greatly appreciative on your thoughts, ideas and advice.

Congratulations on the birth of your wonderful little daughter!

 

Don't worry about the future.  You will meet every challenge as it comes along.  Enjoy the present.  Your daughter will bring you great joy and a healthy dose of worry, same as every other child.

 

I'm sure you already have this link but I thought I'd include it just in case: http://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/?gclid=CLChj9SH_coCFWj4wgoduGID6Q

[heartofGold]

Congratulations.  You will be filled with joy every day.  The journey will be wonderful and I envy you x

[Wiltshire Rhino]

While there will be problems (by the way, every child brings problems) your daughter will bring you and your better half so much joy. She'll develop her own personality, she'll smile at you, she'll make you laugh, she'll make you cry and you will be completely and utterly committed to her for the rest of your life!

My friend has a daughter with Downs and while he still sometimes wishes things were different he also wouldn't change her one bit! Enjoy every moment!

[Padge]

You have a daughter, enjoy whatever comes next.

[timtum]

Many congratulations to you and your wife. I echo wholeheartedly the comments above. I hope that your life together as a new family is filled with joy.

A beautiful name for your little girl as well!

[Phil]

Mate one of my best friends son has downs, he's in his late teens now, has a job, a girlfriend, a wide circle of friends and has always been one of the nicest kids and more lately young men you could ever meet.

[Cookiepuss]

Many, many congratulations. She'll bring you an enormous amount of joy. We have a young woman with Down's working with us. She's been wonderful to have in the office. She also does a day in the office at a local hospital. Loves her football, loves a chat. 

[shrek]

Many congratulations!

 

Enjoy the ride, take each day as it comes, kids are amazing she'll suprise you every day.

[GeordieSaint]

Thank you all for your kind posts. We are having a great time with Elspeth. She is sleeping pretty well at the moment and has begun to drink enough milk for her age after initial issues with the bottle teat (her muscle tone isn't yet strong enough to breast feed). She has a small hole in her heart but we have been reassured this will likely head or if not can be rectified through surgery. Her thyroid also seems to be working pretty well and they have identified she can at least hear at conversational pitch level and may well be able to hear lower pitches as well.

The initial shock has subsided and we are cracking on with being parents. She has developed the ability to poop regularly on my lap and threw up over me this morning; the joys of parenthood! It is great fun and we are looking forward to many brilliant experiences with the little windbag.

It is really reassuring to read the posts of some individuals who have had experiences with down syndrome children as it is her future which worrys me. But reading about employment and even a relationship is incredibly heartening. Neither Tina or I have ever had any experience with downs hence the request for advice. We have started to tap into support both through work and in the local area and will be trying to engage with families in the same situation as early as possible. We have already registered with the Down Syndrome Association.

Thanks again for your kind posts, advice and support. Despite the shock we are proud parents and looking forward to giving Elspeth the best life and experiences we possibly can.

Mike S

P.S. Despite Trojan's reservations, she'll definitely be a Saints fan and my folks already have some merchandise for her!

[Tiny Tim]

I am going to say what everyone on here is thinking, just be thankful she wasn't born a RU fan... 

 

 

In all seriousness all kids come with their unique challenges, enjoy the highs and when you are having a tough time look back and remember the happy moments and know that they will come again. Make the most of the baby days, while they are hard and exhausting they grow up far too quick and before you know you are wondering what happened to that little baby who was pooing and vomiting all over you.

 

I worked with a guy with downs for a number of years, he was great, did his job just fine and enjoyed a joke as much as the rest of us. He played soccer at the weekend and had an active social life.

 

You're a new parent, your emotions are going to be all over the place. Kids don't come with instruction manuals....and even if they did most of them would do the opposite of what it said just to wind you up. Enjoy the ride and try not to worry. Congratualtions