Rant thread

[DavidM]

1 hour ago, Futtocks said:

Or, on the other hand, maybe West Cumbrians and other Northern folk are less likely to be sucked in by an entirely commercially-driven celebration?

My mam is with you on that . She keeps cards from last year and tells me not to bother 

[Futtocks]

I've spent the morning dealing with Singaporean bureaucracy, of the more Kafka-esque type.

We used to submit an invoice as a PDF attachment to an email, the customer would pay it, we'd both be fine for another year.

Now we have a rejected application for one pass (which requires us to supply a document that literally doesn't exist), which would give us permission to try and qualify for another pass.

With both passes (should this prove humanly possible), we can then proceed to the tremendously overcomplicated  box-ticking and form-filling process that culminates in... sending the invoice as an attached PDF.

[Wiltshire Warrior Dragon]

On 26/02/2023 at 20:13, tonyXIII said:

If you know a guy called Vlad, you might be able to add nuclear strike to your list.

When Marwell Zoo in Hampshire once had a competition for a name for their newborn impala, I suggested Vlad the Impala...didn't win!

[MattSantos]

On 13/03/2023 at 15:16, Futtocks said:

I've spent the morning dealing with Singaporean bureaucracy, of the more Kafka-esque type.

We used to submit an invoice as a PDF attachment to an email, the customer would pay it, we'd both be fine for another year.

Now we have a rejected application for one pass (which requires us to supply a document that literally doesn't exist), which would give us permission to try and qualify for another pass.

With both passes (should this prove humanly possible), we can then proceed to the tremendously overcomplicated  box-ticking and form-filling process that culminates in... sending the invoice as an attached PDF.

OnePass is ace. How very dare you.

[Futtocks]

21 minutes ago, MattSantos said:

OnePass is ace. How very dare you.

It wasn't OnePass.

[MattSantos]

8 minutes ago, Futtocks said:

It wasn't OnePass.

I read it incorrectly.

I still may have my Singaporean logins if that could be of any help...

[Futtocks]

25 minutes ago, MattSantos said:

I read it incorrectly.

I still may have my Singaporean logins if that could be of any help...

Someone eventually got in touch with an alternative way of submitting the invoice. They only rejected it four times via this route, each for the pettiest of reasons.

[ivans82]

Sick to death of going in coffee shops , restaurants or whatever and getting stuck next to someone who immediately gets there phone out and spends half an hour talking to their mates or "the guys" at work to discuss what incredibly interesting things he/she has been doing in the office , and always very loudly so as everyone has to hear how important he/she is .

[The Hallucinating Goose]

2 hours ago, ivans82 said:

Sick to death of going in coffee shops , restaurants or whatever and getting stuck next to someone who immediately gets there phone out and spends half an hour talking to their mates or "the guys" at work to discuss what incredibly interesting things he/she has been doing in the office , and always very loudly so as everyone has to hear how important he/she is .

In Hull this scenario goes more like, sick to death of being in a chain bakery and getting stuck next to a spice zombie who immediately gets their phone out and spends half an hour talking to their "bros" on the estate to discuss what weed they have been growing, and always very loudly because they are stupid and don't understand the importance of discretion.

[The Hallucinating Goose]

I don't know if this is really a rant as such but I just got my payslip for this month from my company and I actually punched the air and let out a massive, audible sigh of relief when I saw they had got it right for once, so often it is that they mess my pay up. 

[ivans82]

Yet another rant on mobile phones , nearly everytime i go to the supermarket, park near a car with it`s engine running and lights on where the occupant then gets the mobile out and spends half an hour on it while engine still running .Said person then usually goes and does shopping while phoning somebody and yapping all round the shop. Gets back to car switches engine and then back on the phone for another yap .

[graveyard johnny]

23 hours ago, The Hallucinating Goose said:

In Hull this scenario goes more like, sick to death of being in a chain bakery and getting stuck next to a spice zombie who immediately gets their phone out and spends half an hour talking to their "bros" on the estate to discuss what weed they have been growing, and always very loudly because they are stupid and don't understand the importance of discretion.

in Castleford this scenario goes more like, sick to death of been waiting for a bus in the bus station next to a woman who looks like a 6 stone Worzel Gummidge who gets their phone out and starts screaming down the phone to someone at the dole office  as to why their benefits haven't gone in - then doesn't even get the bus but moves through the bus station kicking the bins and benches until a male friend clad in baseball cap and trackys arrives on his bike with a big plastic bottle of white lightening he has shoplifted from jack fultons and they both go off together in to the sunset arm in arm 

[JohnM]

Sick and fed up of the total surrender of so many organisations. 

Joe Jackson was right.

 

[DavidM]

Why do people talk with their hands ? I was with someone earlier who was either conducting the london symphony orchestra or thought i was deaf and was using sign language . Just about every single word came with accompanying arm gesture or emphasis , including lots of air quotation marks and both arms in a big circle for ‘ everywhere ‘ . Maybe they knew im very stupid coz when folk do this i always feel theyre screaming ‘ do you understand me , can you get what i’m saying ! ‘

[tonyXIII]

3 hours ago, graveyard johnny said:

in Castleford this scenario goes more like, sick to death of been waiting for a bus in the bus station next to a woman who looks like a 6 stone Worzel Gummidge who gets their phone out and starts screaming down the phone to someone at the dole office  as to why their benefits haven't gone in - then doesn't even get the bus but moves through the bus station kicking the bins and benches until a male friend clad in baseball cap and trackys arrives on his bike with a big plastic bottle of white lightening he has shoplifted from jack fultons and they both go off together in to the sunset arm in arm 

Thanks for that. I do like a happy ending.

[The Hallucinating Goose]

3 hours ago, DavidM said:

Why do people talk with their hands ? I was with someone earlier who was either conducting the london symphony orchestra or thought i was deaf and was using sign language . Just about every single word came with accompanying arm gesture or emphasis , including lots of air quotation marks and both arms in a big circle for ‘ everywhere ‘ . Maybe they knew im very stupid coz when folk do this i always feel theyre screaming ‘ do you understand me , can you get what i’m saying ! ‘

You just described me!

Don't worry, not offended, people comment on it all the time. I don't really know why I do it, I think it's just to satisfy myself that I'm expressing what I want to say in a clear way. I'm not the best conversationalist and by gesturing I feel like I'm putting my words across in a much clearer way. I know this probably isn't the case but like I say, it's more for my own satisfaction than anything. 

[gingerjon]

13 hours ago, DavidM said:

Why do people talk with their hands ? 

it's because they're evolved human beings.

[ivans82]

18 hours ago, DavidM said:

Why do people talk with their hands ? I was with someone earlier who was either conducting the london symphony orchestra or thought i was deaf and was using sign language . Just about every single word came with accompanying arm gesture or emphasis , including lots of air quotation marks and both arms in a big circle for ‘ everywhere ‘ . 

Sounds like you are describing Victoria Coren Mitchell , although She just uses her head. Tilts head back looks down nose at contestants , they get it wrong , shakes head furiously ,reads answer while nodding forward to emphasise certain points of explanation ,tosses hair back , tilts head back and repeat .

[Les Tonks Sidestep]