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costa

My husband refereed a Super League game tonight and was abused

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It really is disgusting at times, some of the abuse that can get spouted on the terraces - One person hears someone say something and everyone else feels like they are able to do it. None of them like to think that the person they are shouting at is just a man, who does have a family. 

I am sorry to hear about your experience, and just wanted to say that not all Rugby League fans behave like that towards the referee or opposition players during the game.

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I echo what has been said above. I hope your other half is okay. I worked in a school for years, I too know what it's like to receive abuse and be called names all the time. 

Referees are some of the bravest people in the world. They have the balls to walk out in front of thousands of people and take on more responsibility than the cowards in the stands could ever stomach. 

I've argued with people in the stands before, explained calmly why a decision has been made, even gone into extreme detail and explained rules and things thinking that perhaps the person is just ignorant to the facts and then they just turn their anger on you instead. These are weak insecure people who have nothing going for them and hiding in a crowd shouting abuse makes them feel big and important. The only big thing is the cock on their heads.

This kind of thing seriously needs clamping down on.

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Unfortunately some like to treat referees as verbal punchbags to take out their frustrations with life away from rugby. It’s not personal, it’s the uniform.

Ultimately it needs brave souls in the silent majority - and it is a majority, we are not all ref-haters - to tell the unacceptably abusive to button it. Easier said than done, of course, but if they go unchallenged they won’t stop. 

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The treatment of referees in most sports is something that people make noble waffling statements about, but the reality is that you end up being screeched at by a bunch of lagered-up oafs, whose only judgement is that every decision you give against their club deserves the death penalty.

It has always been bad, but social media allows these things to fester from the second they happen and linger (sometimes) years after the event. Or, far more usually, non-event.

The increasing trend towards over-reaction and emotional incontinence means that people feel empowered to have tantrums and pretend they aren't laughably wrong. It all comes from an over-inflated sense of entitlement and SHOUTING SO LOUD YOU CAN'T HEAR THE OTHER POINT OF VIEW.

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"Men will be proud to say 'I am a European'. We hope to see a day when men of every country will think as much of being a European as of being from their native land." (Winston Churchill)

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Really sorry to hear that. Personal abuse is totally indefensible.  Don't know which game you were at but James Child had an absolute stinker in the first half at Wakefield tonight and does seem to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about Wakey.  I'm quite happy to admit that I was making it clear what I thought about his refereeing and I think that's part and parcel of the game but if it got into the realms of what you allege then it absolutely needs rooting out.  A bit of video footage shouldn't be hard to obtain these days and then the idiots can be dealt with.  ATEOD I'm still really disappointed in both the result and some of the officiating but it's a game and there are things in life which are much more important, or if you think there aren't you should be taking a good look at yourself.

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As someone who did a bit of refereeing in association football it is sad to see this spread into rugby league. This kind of attitude seeps into the grassroots of all games and poisons the well for future officials. No one is reffing rugby league for the cash and I can only hope that some self policing goes on. The age of instant replay where an incident is "a clear penalty/foul/card' to commentators who get the incident in 16 different angles cant have helped. 

Edited by ShropshireBull

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Wtf is it with people thinking refs are biased etc? Just leave the sport and go watch soccer.

As for those who yell accusations of child abuse, homophobia and racism, go and seek assistance for your mental health.

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It certainly doesn't help when coaches such as Ian Watson publicly criticises a referee (basically calling him biased) and just gets a slap on the wrist.

That's why the crowds then also think it's OK to do so.

You will never stop every spectator fro making such comments - and in today's world such animosity among people is becoming more and more frequent in every walk of life - but it certainly doesn't help when club officials and players are seemingly not punished enough for doing so.

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1 hour ago, north yorks trinity said:

Don't know which game you were at but James Child had an absolute stinker in the first half at Wakefield tonight and does seem to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about Wakey.  I'm quite happy to admit that I was making it clear what I thought about his refereeing and I think that's part and parcel of the game ... [snip]

In many sports you’d be considered part of the problem.

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Furthermore, in the world we live in today it is considered wrong to abuse people because of their religion, colour, gender, etc ... yet it is still deemed OK to give similar abuse to certain people in positions of authority - police, politicians... and referees.

Earlier this week a Tottenham footballer went into the crowd to confront someone who he said had abused him  .... and a lot of the comments in the press were in sympathy with him, saying such abuse was wrong. Yet when was the last time such sympathy was given to a referee when a footballer has shouted abuse at him ?  Never !!!

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2 hours ago, costa said:

Tonight I went to watch my other half officiate at a SL fixture (I shan't say which one). 

From minute 1 to 80 he was called all the names under the sun, in front of our little boy and girl. 

Is this really the state of our game? 

I don't know the rules as well as he does  but to me it looked like a really exciting game with drama right until the end. We were on our feet for the entire match, and so was everyone around us. 

But as soon as he got in the car I knew something was up. 

It's getting to him: homophobic language, paedophile allegations and being called a bent cheat. 

Why should he put up with it? 

Why should I? 

Why should our kids? 

 

The 'rugby league family' is something we like to talk about when Rob Burrow falls ill, but go to any top level game and you will witness something completely different.

I hardly ever go now: I just get into arguments. 

 

The absolute state of our game. 

Please allow me to apologize to both your and your other half for the awful behaviour of some fans.  Its a disgrace and I wish I could fix it but I can't.

I implore you to come to Toronto if he gets to ref a game there and bring the kids along too.  The refs are treated very well here by everyone.  Its a wonderful and joyous experience for all involved.  Please feel free to PM me if you are coming so I can take you and your family out with my family  before and during  the game and show you a good time out.

Hang in there...it is an ugly part of the game but there are lots of positives too.  If you are coming to Toronto PM me.

Edited by Kayakman
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1 hour ago, north yorks trinity said:

Really sorry to hear that. Personal abuse is totally indefensible.  Don't know which game you were at but James Child had an absolute stinker in the first half at Wakefield tonight and does seem to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about Wakey.  I'm quite happy to admit that I was making it clear what I thought about his refereeing and I think that's part and parcel of the game but if it got into the realms of what you allege then it absolutely needs rooting out.  A bit of video footage shouldn't be hard to obtain these days and then the idiots can be dealt with.  ATEOD I'm still really disappointed in both the result and some of the officiating but it's a game and there are things in life which are much more important, or if you think there aren't you should be taking a good look at yourself.

I wonder if people who make such comments about referees have ever bothered to try doing it themselves ?

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5 minutes ago, RL does what Sky says said:

I wonder if people who make such comments about referees have ever bothered to try doing it themselves ?

The answer is a clear 'No'.

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2 hours ago, north yorks trinity said:

Really sorry to hear that. Personal abuse is totally indefensible.  Don't know which game you were at but James Child had an absolute stinker in the first half at Wakefield tonight and does seem to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about Wakey.  I'm quite happy to admit that I was making it clear what I thought about his refereeing and I think that's part and parcel of the game but if it got into the realms of what you allege then it absolutely needs rooting out.  A bit of video footage shouldn't be hard to obtain these days and then the idiots can be dealt with.  ATEOD I'm still really disappointed in both the result and some of the officiating but it's a game and there are things in life which are much more important, or if you think there aren't you should be taking a good look at yourself.

How do you know he had a shocker? I assume that you have gone over the footage with a fine tooth comb, taking into account whether he would have had a good view of all of the incidents from his position?

Or by shocker do you mean, he didn't give every decision to my team?

I don't know if it's the Wakefield game being referred to in her post, but I'd say there is every chance it is. I was out last night and only caught the last half an hour of commentary on BBC Leeds when I got in. You could hear some of the abuse being shouted in the background, and even the commentary team spent nearly as long complaining about the ref as they did talking about the game. And that was in the second half when Wakefield were supposedly getting the rub of the green!

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Unfortunately  foul language seems to be  the norm today and you can actually hear families using it.

There is no excuse for abusing anyone,  let alone referees, doing there best to entertain people.

In regard to League, I would think it's no worse than other sports

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4 hours ago, north yorks trinity said:

Really sorry to hear that. Personal abuse is totally indefensible.  Don't know which game you were at but James Child had an absolute stinker in the first half at Wakefield tonight and does seem to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder about Wakey.  I'm quite happy to admit that I was making it clear what I thought about his refereeing and I think that's part and parcel of the game

Why is it part and parcel of the game?  Just because people pay to get in it does not give them the right to shout personal abuse.

How many people go to the cinema and then hurl abuse at the staff because the film was not as good as they had hoped.

But unfortunately abuse to officials and players has been allowed to grow over the years and is considered by some Richard Craniums to be the norm.

 

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5 hours ago, Copa said:

In many sports you’d be considered part of the problem.

He is the problem.

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I said last night that I thought Sky's commentary over the penalty try (in particular) was part of the wider problem (both with their commentary and explaining the rules). It was fairly clear that the commentary team were unclear at first that it was even being sent up as a penalty try and then they weren't clear on what might happen. It then also doesn't help that the screen just says TRY.

I can remember refs getting personal abuse from fans on terraces at rugby league games for as long as I've been watching. That would be an embarrassing 33 years now. I know I've given some - and I'm really not proud of that at all. Soccer was always a lot more vicious and persistent. The distinction to me was that at least rugby fans waited for the ref to make some decisions before deciding the ref was bent, soccer fans seem to believe it from the moment they walk in the ground.

None of which helps. A genuine respect policy would see players and coaches punished more severely, and fans marched from the ground. Regardless of whether the ref had a stinker or not. But that's not going to happen.

@costa - maximum respect to your other half. It's an absolutely thankless job.

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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. (Terry Pratchett)

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I made the conscious decision not to focus on the ref about 25 years ago, and whenever I'm at the match I always think I enjoy it more than some of those obsessed with barracking the ref. 

If you just get your head round the fact mistakes happen, and they know better than us fans, it really does make the game more enjoyable. 

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I’ve got no problem with people analysing a refereeing performance. If we’re (fans) going to come on here, go on social media, go to the pub etc after a game and talk about player performances or coaching performances, in the shape of team selection and tactics, we should be able to analyse a performance of a referee. 

I find that Rugby League, specifically Super League, is two games; one you see in real time at a stadium and one you see, if you choose, on television. For many decisions, it is nigh on impossible in a stand at a stadium to determine whether a ball has been lost in a tackle or has been raked out by a defender, for example. Whereas Sky offers the ability to see that. 

It must be incredibly difficult at real time and at pitch level to see these decisions for referees in real time. 

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10 minutes ago, Dave T said:

I made the conscious decision not to focus on the ref about 25 years ago, and whenever I'm at the match I always think I enjoy it more than some of those obsessed with barracking the ref. 

If you just get your head round the fact mistakes happen, and they know better than us fans, it really does make the game more enjoyable. 

I agree entirely with this. Enjoy the game, some you win, some you lose, refs make decisions, hundreds of em every match,  a few will be wrong, most will be right BUT the decisions been made n shoutin about it won't change it. Personally I think the standard of reffing has increased markedly in the past few years

lets asume a ref is biased aginst some team or other (which I v much doubt but lets run with this idea)...shouting dogs abuse at him for 80 mins aint likely to ease his bias any is it? Get a grip

No ref, no match

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It is stupid and there seems to be a decent movement against it it however..... 

I've seen it all levels in the 30 years I've been involved with the game both at Hemel/London and on trips playing/watching up north. It isn't anything new or to do with social media it's been ever present. I suspect it may even have been worse in the old days before modern stadium security staffing--stories from players in the 1920s getting bottles thrown at them - I assume refs got worse! 

Education is key. Let's get the refs on media more - telly, podcasts and such. Show they are just human beings and it will go some way to change folks minds

Also challenge it yourself in the stands 

Edited by Bedfordshire Bronco

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At least a ref at an amateur game can walk off the pitch or ask people to leave if abuse gets bad. Not much they can do at pro game unfortunately 

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